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Finally come the day when I should come. You withdrew the deluxe hotel room. We agreed to meet there to deal with love. You look me waiting. I was about to come. You are stricken by tremor excitation, when you think about me. We have long dreamed about this … And with a minute to minute, this should happen. You’re constantly looking at the clock and worry a lot that I can not reach. You simply will not overcome this. Amenities intimate light and easy erotic music. At the table a bottle of champagne, a box of chocolates and strawberries … I came. As always beautiful, skinny and fire. For me translucent short red dress. At my skinny long legs beautiful black lingerie. I get in the door and you understand that, except you do not like me and do not want anybody else! You embrace me. Under my dress, except my own body-nothing else! No hint of underwear. We are beginning a passionate kiss. We learn unbridled desire. Right at the entrance to frustrate you with my clothes. Your hands wandering in my body, your lips passionately caress me ….. I want you right here! I tightening with you your jeans. You have long been ready and I also want to madly. Ty shaft me on the floor and entrance to me. I almost lose consciousness from such sensations. Our cries probably heard throughout the hotel. But this is little concern to us. This is such a trifle, compared with what is happening now. The world ceases to exist for us, only you and me. And now we have a coherent whole .. I am so well with you, I long ago there was not so well with whom. I want to move on the bed. You gently take me on hands and carry to the bedroom. The broad bed and beckons to themselves. We love betrayed on silk sheets, which hug us and gently tickle our skin. We caress each other. Each cell of our body to those withdrawn it. Are you drowning in my hair, the smell of my spirits, combined with the smell of my skin even more excite you. You’re at the limit, just as I and. Ty again entrance to me and not to stop any longer for a second. Our movements have become increasingly faster, breathing, too. I want you, I very much want you …. Two, embrace, quietly sleeping. At the table and left not touched champagne, candies and strawberry.

Today I saw a girl in the subway my dreams. It was beautiful. I do not know what specifically it immediately attracted my attention, but I was killed immediately, barely looking at her. It would seem a mere clothing. Strict. The white blouse under a black jacket. I have not seen the clothes - I saw that under it - her wishes, feelings, mind. Her body - yes, no words to describe. This elastic sporting body, I clearly feel that it is a virtuoso owns each of its particle. How would I want to manage it in my hands. Her fatigue will not hide leech from me for the recent adversity their original beauty. Her lips kiss shout about.  Wet lips, pure white skin. This is not the case … No! She herself sexuality. Even the suspects did not know. I see that her concern for other problems. But her body wants it. She wants me - no, it certainly does not want me. Close your eyes and imagine, as I fall it to its knees on the dirty floor and wagon - and what’s next? I do not know where … I know that the same will happen next, if I am  so weak on my will that even never be able to do so, never to the point of exhaustion before it on the floor, embraced her knees, fade for a moment, because at this moment I get it as well … no matter what comes next. Such a normal girl - an unusual girl. What it attracts me so? No answer. I can not find what - something common among those young women that attracted me diabolical. They are all different. And blonde and brunette. For sports figure and simply slim. With great naive eyes and eyes with some tricks like cats. Probably unites them only one thing - I feel very good that we understand each other. What is that - that is between us what the others do not see people - those people with whom I have no invisible connection, the people who are indifferent to me when in the space next to me there ONA. We understand each other, so that there understand, we can feel each other even without words. How did I know, if never even tried to talk with them? Never! DO! In the - if not all of my misfortune. Never tried, and I know that never conspiracy. But know. Just know. My intuition I never brings. I previously did not believe myself, but I wonder people feel. If I would gates, I already know this is only one movement of convertible mouth. Sometimes I even answer to a question, not the start of his hearing. I saw a girl in the subway you fancy. To miss - a tragedy? No. I saw it yesterday in the subway girl you fancy. And the day before yesterday. Ah, but I already saw them as reckless and leaving away. Metro separated us. But why? Maybe I am a timid?. But no one is not empty you in their world, fence from all sightless eyes, covered himself armored glass. Here are a hurry on their cases. All of which - then fleeing, and you do not know when the leaves a man wagon near the door. Here, it seems, he sleeps, and go to him for a long time, but it suddenly derailed and ran from the wagon - uf, just not oversleep. Tomorrow I will see a girl of my dreams in the subway.

The bitter coffee, salty tears and sticky syrup of thoughts. How to interrupt their endless stream? How to hide in the shells blunt thoughtless existence? Forget not to think, not to dream, not to be confused in vaguely speculate. Disappear as a species, as Homosapiens. I do not want to think! After all, pigeons live in the same way. They arrive at the declivity cornice with peeled paint eat bread crumbs and reservations. No thoughts about unrealized deeds, exclusion and social utility. You do not raise cavalry from their girlfriends doubt their attractiveness, do not face the problems of diversity in family life. Birds simply together, they pair in blue,hatch chicks and teach them to fly, obey the instinct and the law of nature, which does not regulate the love, praise and feelings as the primary driving force of life. And are we? Thinking! What do we have? We are wise, think of yourself so many rules and conditionalities that are already not exactly remember their significance. How easily we disapprove of their own, such strong beliefs. |We suffer, pass lunar night,  from thoughts and other things. I do not want to! I did not want to haunt his fragile brain matter Why do I live? — I want to live! I am not wanted, pinching to you, but come to think whether we have each other? — I want to love! I chose you, obeying unknown to the raising, which occurs outside the cynical consciousness. You were my vote, not by the will of reason, and call on the flesh. We were good together, and yet we were good, I do not conceived about anything. But then phone rings, breaking night at the before and after, leaving me no choice, throwing into a deep understanding of deceit and error. The night of watching  evil eye. Indifference sky in a white frame windows. Pain. And the pain came on the cutting edge of thought mixed with bitter coffee and salty tears. Why do they come? To give away the last honors moribund feelings? Who are they called. What is better? What’s easier? And whether there is no compromise between them? I meshed eyelashes, hiding behind the centuries its sinful nature. I suddenly realized that there is no compromise. The dream of one, by the will of the supervisory reason we are doing another, and when aware of the error, came the thought. Their birth to our brains as antibodies, as immunity to the possibility of new bugs. But for tremble eyelashes resurrect feelings, and creep on my cheek tear Unasked, the estimates all barriers, built a stark reason. I do not want to think, I want to feel like pigeons …

Why? Why I met you .. A confused .. Void … There is no point … It was … Disappeared .. Why? What’s wrong with me? Why? No! I love my girl! I love! I love? I love … Yes … Hard. Fear. Doubts. It creeped  in my soul. I am afraid … meet with you. Painful … see your enormous, slightly moist eyes. Terrible … immerse themselves in them and drowning. The gap in perpetuity and not find a way out. When you say, I am fishing every movement of your lips. They seem to me the most sensual in the world. Pause. Just half-open mouth. Gentle pink sharp tongue. Pearl-white smile. Velvety voice merely adds to the feeling of purity beautiful surrounding you. Near with me .. And the same is far from me. We cherish our relationship too. Friends … We just friends. Nobody knows what will be worth only cross the line … … dash thread .. Web thin. None. Neither you nor I …. This is almost beside … Close … The fragile line between instant and eternity. Between love and open doubt … You and I … We have a number of … and so impregnable .. I and thou. Faced … Meeting that will never be with you next. To enjoy socializing with one another, to live and do not even dream about you. Let all be true. I can not. I very much. I love … Loyalty? Yes, no, love .. A confused … Void … There is no point … It was … Disappeared … Why? Why should I met you …

You know how baby laughs? Joyfully, frankly and honestly. It seems this sun rays reflect in his eyes. Gentle and fun you do not ever hear. Hear? He is well. He rejoices. The sun jumps on the wall. Dazzling snow-white, reflected in the mirror. Dirt small horse. This pony. He smiles. Again, this link thin voice. Kids are not boring. He can truly enjoy everything that surrounds it. We, adults, have lost the skill do so. Too seriously think of everything that’s happening around. Sparrow bristles up on a branch! And how proud to ride up the head, neck stretched to PACE young dove? Look! Kid, you notice all this. You have to smile again. His clean, children’s laughter so leads me. Tender is his view, I always see when raising his eyes. Good morning, baby! You no longer charge! His eyes smile, spout knits of laughter. He laughs because he wants to, not because of the rules of decency and good tone. Although, who knows when it will grow, he may be the same as everyone. Embarrass smile; vaguely to hem, hiding his laughter deeply in the chest. Anything can … may be … But until you are just a small child. Please do not adults so fast!

I just cry … Just why simple? I am crying! Do not want someone saw my tears, let them be on paper. Paper will endure everything! As the wounded animal, I need to escape, go, go, so nobody saw wet tears from his eyes. This may be no tears - it was icy rain, lead drops breaking silence. 15:00 you have not arrived, the second day How can take days - is eternity! Inside is bottled emptiness, all become so miserable and do not have any meaning … It makes no sense to drag time, I expect, I believe that you come. The whole world has become elusive. What lies ahead? This dream does not give me rest … the warm summer rain, bright green grass and transparent, so that visible yellow sand surface calm river, we are together. I do not believe things in dreams, dreams must feel! Morning so calm and easy on the soul. I know we will together, but just need time, and fathomless river happiness and love kill us. Looking at the port lights, I see your eyes shining in the darkness and called. Everything, everything must go, and even this pain, tearing claws soul. There will be a new day and you will knock, and maybe, it will be not you, and the fate of me again, as throw a  starving dog a bone, which is pegged to the rope, which, God, why all this? Where is my favorite, I want to love, give me that opportunity! Return to bowl with a daily shapeless and tasteless mass? — NO! No! I do not want to be a dog, awaiting handouts! I am - proud panther, with fathomless eyes, which always plays fire passions. Where is my lion, my vote? I know that a meeting ITS, it will be in the scars of old wounds and rather beaten by life, but he is, he is the who waited so, I know IT, How? — This is the animal instinct, it feels as a victim of the approaching hunter. HE will be strong and courageous, and this animal passion in his tired, but beautiful eyes. We went through life, we share the sea, oceans, continents, but together, and we know that we lived all his life for this meeting. WE lived ups and downs, joy and sorrow together. We were hitchhiking … I am a man, you woman, we loved or been loved, we have gone, gone from us, now it does not matter. WE shroud through the years, days, looking for moments of each other. YOU knew that the one, which is intended only for you somewhere far from there, and she is waiting, thinking of you. When I was hurt, I looked in fathomless starry sky and heard YOUR voice, you was a breeze and a number of iron my hair. All this time we were so far, but we were together. And now nothing and no one separated us, darling. will be waiting for the meeting, will be waiting for a meeting …

Something me so bad, so dreary, and not lost a feeling that something is done wrong and quite unnecessary. What is being said and said what everyone was going, separation … Your painful and very unrealistic smile on the face, my words: You know, I thought, and decided that you are right that we do not need to develop and continue our relationship and your: Well, what do you freed me from having to speak these words for the second time. I thought endure, I think you’re almost not to be seated in my mind that you almost indifferent to me, but somehow as if overcast day became even darker, or simply already evening and I have not called attention to the color of the sky, the severity, apathy, after the bulk of my words. We want to shout: Sweet! Well, what do we do! I need you! Only you one, and day and night in a dream and in real life I think just about you! Stop. Tell me what I need you, I need only hear these words, let me understand that, too, can not without me! We are all corrupt, all that is still not even started, not even trying corrupt. Tell me what I need you, I got an upgrade. … But Creek, not born, die, die, and only you, you’re standing next to me, painful smile and look into my eyes, a few surprise and disappoint. Those few seconds before the elevator arrived, until yours, my happiness. And all. All over. The inverse no roads.

Do not promise me anything. Moon? The sea? That I have. Mad walks along the golden sand? I do not want. Eternal love? And who told you what happens? Do not promise not need: I have heard so many promises. Please do not be such as all: Do not promised me: Heaven’s pleasure? Have you ever been in Paradise? In my paradise? You have so few know about me: My paradise is not such as to all. My Paradise: My Hell: Sometimes I am very confusing them: Do not worry: Just you very much do not know. Do not know how sometimes I jump to bed in a cold sweat. What do I dream? This is not a dream. This is death. My death. She walks behind me long ago, she was unable to pick me then: It took another, very close to me right. Now she is looking for me. Hear? Shots. See me? — Sergey-and-a-a! Do not go, you hear! Серега, breathe! Breathe, infect, I need you alive, Sergey: I will take you, silently. Mother, mother, your mother! You hear me? Talk to me! Do not keep silent! Do not turn a blind eye. Worth! Do not leave: - A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A::. Do you hear this? Clank: Metal on Metal: A blank tap: Metal on earth: - m-m-m-m-m-m-m, Amen! And there are no more men. Country war. A beautiful quiet mountain region. Order simple: Go ahead and die. What the heck, since spring on the ground only long A heart full of anguish and bitterness. Uff. Nakata: All normal. It is inside me. You do not see: Do not hear the story that there was. Why? Yes, why such a lovely creation of a headache? Kid, you just do not offend … I tell you … when the time comes. Hell? Paradise? No, this is just my life.

Who are you, beautiful stranger? Like me with you easily and pleasantly. I did not rain the evening to chat with you … I am so comfortably next to you. We can talk about anything … I do not know very much about you, so you just do not like to talk. However, we are almost on an equal footing. I do not distinguish abundance of words. Why talk about mental wounds? Incidentally, do you know who I am, where I was, that happened to me in a conscious years. You know all … Virtually all … Except … … my pain … The pain … It will suddenly. It will grip the heart in the vise and not released. It keeps me. Lord, I am suffocating. Breast is like in heavy chains. Anxiety … At the troubled soul, and it begins to be reflected in my view, looking on both sides. Wary … Closes in itself. Why do I keep silent? What happened? As with my eyes? I silently. If I start talking now, you do not know me … This is my life. The second life … How many of them from me? A lot. But I am afraid only one… You, that does not give me sleep at night. You, which run on the skin shivers. No, I was not scared. Just pain. Dull pain. The pain in the heart. Now you know about me very much. Too many to be able to make me silent … Suppose that you will not be scared. Do not be afraid for me. Do not be afraid to be with me. I do not offend you. Simply, sometimes not ask me about anything. After all, friend, this is not the one who’s just a pleasure to spend time, walk, talk. A friend is someone with whom there is comfortable to keep silent… Now you understand me? I also want to know more about you. I am interested in everything! What are you reading, what music you listen. You like go around aimlessly on the streets at night? Snowflakes whirl in the rays of headlights and soft light lamps? Brody, head to ride up, look at the stars, and something beckons you. You fly away. How would I like to be there. Highly-high in the sky …. Just burn brightly. Beautiful … You are not alone next to the beloved man? You’re madly love, but you something is missing. What do something that you do not want to pronounce aloud. Want I will say this for you? BEZUMSTVA. Here, sometimes so hardships your soul. You know that will be tomorrow. You know what you want. You know what to say, do … You know it … And sometimes both want a new, unusually severe! Yes? Or have I not right? So many want to ask you. It’s true, it is interesting to all. The first love, first grief. First forgive, the first to forgive. Tell me about yourself?

Scatter. Everything. Bush hurricane caused less damage. He did not touches the soul. The body? Yes traits with him. Mind. There is no. The soul - solid bruises. Not from shocks. From one. Last. Crush. Trampled. Destroy. Making in the non-existence. Pain. Dull pain. Heart? What you. Cold as ice, firmly as granite? No, worse. Knocking, of course. Why? Nonsense. Emptiness. Pieces phrases. A set of words. Scraps of emotions. Distance. Coolness. I do not want to reduce the distance. Let it remain so. Forever? Do not be able to. Why? Stupid to explain. Only you been able to crush the soul. Those bright, beautiful feelings that I could give. Dario you, girl. To become spoilt child. Selfish and accustomed to comfortably imagine. Cynical? No, I do not think about consequences: Love? No, for you is just a game. Allow themselves to love and be surrounded attention. Rake and throw. Find an object in dignity. Do not make a step back. Only forward. This pride. And pride. No, rather pride. Do you feel. You perfectly know when to move and say the word tender. When the press on themselves, and then again alienate. Playing cat-and-mouse. You want this? You like? Def. Only now can I shall cat? Tender rumble? He:  hunter, releasing its claws. I doubt? And what do you know about me? Scraps of biographies and outbreaks of emotion? You looked me in the heart? Through my pink glasses, if only. You tried to understand me? Ha-ha! You used to be surrounded attention. You really missed a number of admirable men. And then I hit. Lovers, happy. Ready to defend, giving the opportunity to rely on his shoulder. You’re not one has taken into consideration. Once I had to understand that you do not have anything to me. Passion? The desire to possess? Yes: not original. And so I loved you. Admired and enjoyed you. God, I was quite what you next. Near me. Er-e-e-x: . Break with root. You think that I cry? I am ill and I do not know, what can I do? Do not sleep at night and think about you? All terrible. Wilderness. Ill. There is emptiness inside. Nothing. Deathly. Smells of non-living.. Is it again? Again, nothing to live. It is. Live and warmly hope that one day I would prefer a man who will do the same passion to love me.